Chapter 6

“I think I found it!” McGee Said putting his hand into a grate and trying to fish it out

“Yay, McGee!” Abby said happily

“There is only one problem” McGee said

“And that is…” Gibbs said not looking amused

“My hand is stuck!” McGee said trying several times to get it out

“Does anyone have a chainsaw?” Tony asked

“Tony!” Gibbs, McGee, Abby and Ziva shouted

“What?” Tony asked shrugging his shoulders

“Lets get some cooking grease” Ziva said and everyone looked at her “What, does anyone else have a better idea?” She said looking around at everyone

“DiNozzo, it is your mess that got us here now get him out!” Gibbs said giving Tony his best evil stare

“Yes Boss!” Tony said and ran as fast as he could to the kitchen

It did not take him that long to find what he was looking for and returned to the group, he took a bit of time to get to them as he was distracted by one of the maids, she was a cartoon but boy was she pretty, it was not until the slap on the head came did he realise how angry Gibbs really was.

“Go grease lightning…” Tony sang as he poured some of the grease onto McGee’s hand

“Tony!” They all said in unison

After a few minutes of wriggling and greasing and Tony’s singing they managed to get McGee’s hand free.  One thing they had not noticed was in the midst of getting McGee’s hand out of the grate that the movie had kept running as it had done so previously. 

“So how do we get back then?” McGee asked rubbing his hand

“Not sure Probie maybe I rub this thing” Tony began rubbing it but nothing happened.

“It’s not working Tony” Ziva said looking bored

“Ah Tony, what’s that?” Abby said looking horrified and backing away

“Um well in the movie there is a big fight next and so that must be the huge gingerbread man!” Tony said following Abby

“RUN!!!” Gibbs said and ushering the others out of the room

They managed to find a small room that they all huddled in until they thought the coast was clear.

“Tony stop touching my leg!” Ziva said grabbing the hand and twisting it

“OW!” McGee said “Sorry” even thought it was dark they could feel his embarrassment light up the room.

“Anything else you wanna tell us?” Gibbs asked finally opening the door and checking around

Chapter 5

“What is going on here?” Tony asked he had had enough, this had to be some sort of dream

“See, he is drunk!” McGee said pointing at Tony

“Next you will be telling us that the fairy godmother and prince charming have got some sort of disease

“Did someone mention my name?” The fairy god mother and prince charming appeared in a cloud of pink smoke

“Ducky?” Tony asked looking at the plump woman in a pink fluffy outfit and holding a wand

“No my dear I am a fairy” Ducky said and let out a small chuckle

“Mother I think this thing should be put down” Prince charming said

“Palmer? Okay this is not funny anymore” Tony said stamping his hooves on the ground “I just wanna go home” He said looking for a sign to get him out of there

“I have an idea” Ducky said “I have a spell that will get you out of here”

“Okay I like the sound of that” Tony said and breathed a sigh of relief “How does this work?” He asked eager to go back home

“Follow me, we will need everyone for this as it requires a lot of energy” Ducky said leading them into the castle

Ducky had them make up a circle in the centre of the living room and prepared a potion that everyone need to drink in order to get Tony home.

“Okay after 3 drink the potion and in less than 30 seconds the drunk donkey will be outta here” Ducky said looking around at everyone “okay, 1…2…3!”

Everyone drank their potion and waited, after 20 seconds they all started to feel a bit strange and soon they were all covered in a huge cloud of blue smoke.  Once the smoke cleared Tony realised what had happened, he had not gone but he stood there with all his team mates and the cast of Shrek, everyone was totally confused apart from Tony who knew what had been going on.

“Tony, what is going on?” Gibbs asked not sounding the least bit pleased

“It’s a long story boss” Tony said half laughing

“You had better start now then” Gibbs said

“Well once upon a time…” Tony began

“Very funny Tony but I would like to get back to the real world now” Ziva said

“Well that’s the problem, I can’t seem to find the thing that got me here” Tony said trying to remember where it would be

“Okay I have had it! We will find that thing whatever it is then we are outta here and you are on desk duty for a week” Gibbs said getting in Tony’s face

“A pencil topper” Tony said

“A what?” Gibbs asked

“A pencil topper boss, you know those things that go on pencils” Tony said trying to be smart

“I know what a pencil topper is DiNozzo!

“Lets find it so we can go” Gibbs said storming off

“Wow McGee, we are in a movie!” Abby said looking around

Chapter 4

“Are we there yet?” This was the 100^th time Tony had said it in the last 10 minutes and they had only got out of the swamp and through the woods

“For the 100^th time you stupid donkey NO!!” McGee shouted and birds flew out from the trees as it echoed through the woods. “Why did we have to bring him again?” McGee asked Abby who was laughing every time Tony said something.

“Oh leave him he is just excited” Abby said and put a reassuring hand on McGee’s leg and he blushed

“See you are McGee” Tony said smiling at McGee’s discomfort

“Quiet!” McGee said crossing his arms and staring forward, this was not a fun trip.

10 minutes later:

“Are we there yet?” Tony asked

“No” McGee said calmly

10 minutes later:

“Are we there yet?” Tony said again knowing it will wind McGee up

“NOO!” McGee said back

10 minutes later:

“Are we there yet?” Tony said in a squeaky tone

“NOOO!” McGee said again

10 minutes later:

“Are we there yet?” Tony asked

“Yes” Abby said and they all turned to look at the huge castle on the top of the mountain

“Wow” Tony and McGee said in unison

“That’s home” Abby said excitedly

The coach pulled up outside the castle and the red carpet was rolled out, everyone from the neighbouring towns was there and McGee was getting nervous, sweat dripped down his face and he tried to wipe it away with his hand only to find that was just as sweaty.

“This is like a night at the Oscars” Tony said wishing he was not in the body of a donkey but in a sharp suit like James bond striding up the red carpet with hoards of women wanting him and with one by his side.

“Shall we” Abby said almost shoving McGee out of the coach and getting tangled in the steps and falling flat on his face “I’m sorry honey, did I push you too hard?”

“No, I’m okay” McGee said brushing himself off and then helping Abby out of the coach.

“My darling!” The King said walking up to his daughter and giving her a hug

“Daddy I have missed you” Abby said giving her father her usual bear hug

“So where if that fiancé we hear so much about?” The king said and looked behind her

“Gibbs?” Tony said and Gibbs looked at him

“What the devil is a Gibbs?” He said looking confused at Abby

“We found this donkey, he was a bit lost so we took him in” Abby said patting Tony on the head “This is my fiancé, Shrek” Abby said and took hold of McGee’s hand

“Oh my what a handsome fella” Gibbs said trying not to show his shock at seeing his daughters true love

“Your highness” McGee said shaking Gibbs’ hand furiously trying not to look nervous but definitely not winning “And where may your lovelly wife be?” he asked swallowing hard

“Oh here she comes” Gibbs said as a beautiful red headed queen floated down the stairs towards them

“Mummy” Abby said tackling her with a hug too

“Easy darling you don’t want to ruin mummy’s new dress” the queen said

Chapter 3

“See I told you he was drunk, he keeps calling me a McGee and you Abs, whatever that is” McGee said walking towards his huge chair and sitting down

“Well whatever it is sounds cute” Abby said smiling at Tony but receiving a weird eyebrow lift from him “would you like something to eat?” Abby said making her way to the kitchen which looked more like a rubbish dump.

“Oh yes please a pizza would be nice” Tony said licking his lips and settling into a chair. McGee and Abby just laughed and looked at him.

Minutes later Abby placed the pizza in front of Tony but it was not a regular Pizza it had worms instead of cheese, red ants for the sauce and dung Beatles instead of the pepperoni.  Tony’s stomach churned he knew he was hungry but this did not look appetising.  Suddenly as if buy magic someone was knocking at the door, McGee opened the door and there stood a small ginger cat.

“Ah Fiona look at his wee little boots” McGee said sounding like a baby

“Thank you Mr ogre may I please come in?” The cat said walking into the house

“Ziva!” Tony said jumping out of the seat and making his way to Ziva

“My god, what is that donkey doing here, yours?” Ziva looked at McGee and he shook his head “What the devil is a Ziva, I think I had one of those once, it was not pretty”

“What are you here for?” McGee asked Ziva

“My name is puss-in-boots and I am here by order of the King and Queen of Far Far Away” Ziva said holding her hat to her chest

“What does mum and dad want now?” Abby asked hearing the news

“They are holding a royal ball for the new Princess and Prince of Far Far Away, and you Princess Fiona are to attend with your Future husband, the coach is outside, we don’t have much time” Ziva said and made her way to the giant pumpkin coach outside.

“Lets go” McGee said taking hold of Abby’s hand and walking out the door

“What about him, he cant stay here, lets take him with us” Abby said giving McGee the puppy dog eyes that made him melt

“Okay, fine, but he stays quiet and he is NOT with us, UNDERSTOOD!” McGee said with force

“Thanks McGee, this is gonna be fun” Tony said jumping into the coach and McGee just rolled his eyes.

Chapter 2

Tony turned off the car, grabbed the cereal box and headed inside, he went straight to the bathroom, showered and then decided that now was a great time for a nap. 
He set the cereal box down and jumped into bed, before he knew it he was asleep. 

The little Shrek pencil topper that Tony had left in the car had mysteriously appeared next to Tony and it began to glow a bright green colour, suddenly a flash of light beamed into the room and Tony was gone.

“What is it?” A woman asked poking Tony with a stick

“It’s a donkey” The other woman said throwing a small rock at it to see if it woke up

“What the?” Tony said getting up and looking around “Where am I?” he asked unaware of his current state

“Oh my, it’s a talking donkey!” They screamed and ran off

“Talking donkey, what are they going on about?  He walked to a small pond and looked into it. “Aaaaahhhhh!!! I am a donkey!” he said running as fast as he could through the forest until he reached a small house made of gingerbread.  He approached the door and began to knock.

“Coming” Was heard from inside and Tony recognised the voice anywhere it was McGee.

“Hello?” McGee said

“McGee?” Tony said looking shocked at the transformation from man to ogre his colleague had taken

“I’m sorry I don’t know what you are talking about please leave” He said shutting the door in his face

“Who was that darling?” A woman with an Abby like tone shouted

“No one just some drunken donkey lost again” Tim said

“Oh poor thing let him in” Abby said walking towards the door “Come in, come in”

“Thank you Abs no one would believe me!” Tony said walking inside.

NCIS TOO FAR FAR AWAY

“Tony! What are you doing here?” McGee shouted staring at Tony wearing only his underwear

“Probie, you’re up!” Tony said putting his hand into a lucky charms cereal box and then shoving a handful of them into his mouth

“Tony its 8 am on a Saturday morning why would you be here?” McGee said as he grabbed a shirt that was hanging from his bookcase

“Did Probilicious have a date last night?” Tony said through the mouthful of lucky charms

“Tony, i…you…you need to go” McGee said trying to rush Tony out of the door

“Is she still here?” Tony asked trying to look around McGee into his bedroom, managing to dodge him and run towards the bedroom.

Tony stopped in his tracks as he saw the woman laying face down on the bed sheets just covering her, wait a minute was that a cross tattooed on her back?

“Abs?” Tony said and looked at McGee, his face turning a crimson red

“mmmm” Abby said turning over and opening her eyes “Tony!” She screamed and grabbed the covers running for the bathroom

“Pro-bie, how did this happen?” Tony asked standing beside him and patting him on the back “Using your elf lord charms on her?” Tony could barely hold in his laughter.

“Just go Tony” McGee said shoving the cereal box at Tony and pushing him towards the door

“See ya later Probilicious” Tony said laughing all the way down to the car “McGee and Abs? man I need to get my game back” he said talking to himself.

He opened his car door and sank into the drivers seat, he reached his hand in to get another handful of lucky charms that will fuel him to his home which he had not been to since yesterday morning.  He pulled the hand out of the box and saw the small figure staring back at him.  He looked at the box that read “Free Shrek pencil topper inside”

“Heh” he said and threw it onto the passenger seat and then driving away.